Soooo, I find it really hard to help you with your issue ‘cause I’ve been there, and now I know what I could have done differently. So I might be a bit harsh on you, but that’s 'cause I want to help you. For me it has been a year ago and I’m still recovering, sometimes I still even relapse and that’s normal. BUT, the only reason I’m at the place where I am now is because I got help. I know it’s hard to reach out, hell, I didn’t reach out but my mom found out I was in a really really dark place. I’m so glad she found out, 'cause if she didn’t.. I probably wouldn’t be here today. I want for you to feel better, to feel good about yourself, to feel loved and accepted, and as long as you stay in that dark place and don’t try to start breaking down those walls, you just know that it isn’t going to get better. Like, you say to me you don’t want help, but I bet you don’t want to feel this way. You’re scared, 'cause you’re afraid of what they will say. And that’s why you are afraid to ask for help! Your family loves you, and they won’t be fine if you aren’t there anymore. The reason why your parents and brother seem to be fine, is because they don’t know what’s going on in your mind. And you know if you need a hug, just walk up to your mom or dad and just say “I want a hug!” that’s it. No explanation or whatever. That’s what I’m doing at least. I’m so sorry that you’re going through all of this, but from personal experience I can say, if you get help it will get better. You just have to push yourself, no matter what. You’re probably too young to give up on this world. Plus, there might be a medical explanation for the way you’ve been feeling. Promise me you won’t do anything stupid and if you need to vent, I’m here for you. Stay strong, darling.